fritz

Congratulations on getting the rain. I was hoping it would come here, but it just seems to have that northeastern turn at the last. But that saved me from Rita last year when it took that northern turn the night that we were supposed to evacuate. I can't gripe too much (for now) because we had around 5" in one day a week or so ago. But that is fast disappearing. Some are about to start cutting hay here, but I need another rain. There is a 30% chance this weekend (whoopee). fritz

Jason, I agree fully with you on the deer issue. We DO have too many of them in a lot of counties. That said, we must face the fact that the deer is considered state property. Since we both live in the same state, Texas owns them. The Texas Department of Game and Fish, or whatever the hell they call themselves, owns them. Now, let me ask you this--do you all have a wildlife cooperative in your county? If you do, they own them (or so they claim). You can join them (if you can't beat them, join them?) but that is not my way of doing things. And I suspect not your's also. The way it works is this----you join them, put up a sign that says game preserve or something the hell like that, and the warden gives you a little slack (like not patroling around your ranch like the non- members.) Didn't someone once say that membership has it's advantages? Well, it's not my way. The state can rest easy with my treatment of the deer population. I still believe in releasing them from my hog traps. Even though some have beaten themselve's to a pulp trying to get out of one (even after the door was tied open). No, deer can be dumb as far as vehicles and hog traps are involved, but I see that you have already learned that they are VERY smart when hunted! Best of luck on your next hunt (with a rifle). fritz

Well, I still believe OUR God just left the blacks in the oven too long. The Arabs have their own god, and I don't know how long he keeps the ragheads in the oven. Maybe Betty Crocker would know. fritz

When I saw this, I thought of Karl-- School Excuse Notes These are excuse notes from parents (with their original spelling) collected by schools from all over the country: My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him. Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot. Dear School: Please excuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29,30, 31, 32, and also 33. Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating. Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins . Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels. Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre) (dyrea) (direathe) the runs. [words in ()'s were crossed out.] Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust. Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault. . My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well. Please excuse little Jimmy for not being in school yesterday. His father is gone and I could not get him ready because I was in bed with the doctor. fritz

Ahhh, the old snipe hunt, southern style! Once you have experienced one, you learn a lesson. But it is just an innocent indoctrination into a group of joking hunters. Most fellows don't fall for it. I remember a movie about a hockey player turned golfer---in his first tournament the local pros invited him to a special party to be held on #18 green at 10 PM. Well, 10 PM was the time that the automatic sprinklers come on. He learned a little that night. Nothing wromg with a good old snipe hunt. fritz

I once saw a tv talk show (not Oprah) where the audience was asked about black people. A little old lady stood up and said "People are like cookies, God just left the blacks in the oven too long". You should have seen the look on a black fellow in the audience! But who could hate a little old lady? She was so innocent, and just trying to defuse a confrontation on hate. fritz

Ahhh, ammonium nitrate fertilizer (which it is). In my days of grain farming, I used to buy it by the ton, those clear plastic bags filled with the tiny pearls. I believe it was 34-0-0. 34% nitrogen. Very good for sidedressing corn and grain sorghum. One day I had just bought a ton of it (40 bags) at the store, and also had filled a 5 gallon can of gasoline for my lawnmower. This was in the bed of my pickup truck. When I got home, I noticed that the can of gasoline had turned over and the bed of the truck was swimming with gasoline. On top of the gasoline was a ton of ammonium nitrate, just waiting for an ignition source. It ain't hard to figure out how to make a bomb (if that is your goal). And I guess because of OK city we farmers have a hard time finding 34-0-0. It's the federal permits required by the fertilizer dealer that killed the sale of it. In my future administration, I will cut out this ridiculous red tape for farmers. Even I know the difference between a farmer and a raghead. While there may be others out there that are disallusioned with our government, making bombs is not the answer. Do it via the ballot box-- Vote fritz for President. fritz

"MY RETIREMENT COTTAGE HAS MESQUITE AND CACTUS AROUND IT AND THE CREEK IS PRETTY DRY RIGHT NOW IN COLEMAN,TX." That sounds about like where I reside now, and the main reason to retire in a less arid place. In other words, I feel your pain. fritz

"Fritz, will this become your new White House?" Let me say this to that, every powerful leader has had a special place to retreat to when the going gets rough. Eisenhower had his Camp David. Reagan used both Camp David and his ranch in California. Clinton went to Camp David and wherever Monica was. George Bush had a place in Kennebunkport, Maine. GW has a place in Crawford, Texas. Carter probably used Camp David (when he wasn't fending off mad rabbits). We all know about the Kennedy family's retreat up in Massa2shits. And Nixon, well he went to China, and Ford played golf. Let me not forget our great? President from Texas (LBJ). He drafted me, and while I served he held barbecues on the Perdernales. So, if I so choose to make my retreat on a trout stream, along with snow and warm wood fires, I will do so. Beats a Texas drought anyday! The Secret Service will not tell where the satellite dish is, national security issues are involved. fritz

It might be cheating and the dog will probably dig someplace else, but I have lots of cactus! As to the peeing on the spot, I guess I could try that, but the last time I went outside to pee I got bitten by a snake! Just kiddin'. BTW, where do I get the post office pepper spray? My carrier drives a 4x4 and does not have to worry about dogs. fritz

Do as I do--- Wait untill Fido gets a snootfull of that! fritz

I wish. fritz

Nope, haven't touched a cookie lately, and it only happens now and then. Ask Karl, he has been logging in as "guest" also lately (from time to time). It has to be the power vision (or vision power, or whatever it is). Maybe it's the aliens from another planet doing it. Couldn't be a Mexican alien, because they don't hack into the internet (only into ranchers' fences). fritz

Strange, I posted this once and I was listed as aguest and I guess it didn't post. If it appears twice, then it just shows how happy I am. The burn ban was still on in my county, but last night I lit 'er up in defiance of it. It burned real good until the frog strangler hit. The guage has run over once already, and soon all the stock tanks will run over. It is a sight to behold. I know it was that fire, along with all the shooting I did yesterday. As long as I can keep the non-believers away, it will rain. I just remembered it has been 25 years since I bought a new fishing pole, coincided with the time I began buying up rifles. Well, tomorrow I am going to go out and buy a new fishing rod and reel. The money that I finally got out of an oil company (due for two years) will more than pay for that and more. When I drove down to the stock tanks and saw all that water pouing in, I got the urge to fish again. Besides I already have too many guns. May your day be as joyous as mine. fritz

"I looked into my crystal ball and I forsee a brush guard of the front of my truck before the turn of the new year..." I couldn't live (or drive) without one. They are also great to keep a zopilote from going through your radiator (or windshield). Sure, you are going to see just what he had for lunch, but he will be stuck in the grillwork (instead of your cab). fritz

"don't we export more grain than we consume domestically?" Sometimes, most of the time, usually, appropriatly. But since Uncle Sam controls our export market, sometimes he has this urge to use our exports of grain to gain points against another country. Or another country refuses to accept our exports. Read the history books on this matter, it has happened before and it will happen again! Unless you have been involved in the business of farming, you cannot understand the power that Uncle Sam has on us. Or the power that other nations have upon us, in the world of "free" trade. If we cannot control our own border between us and Mexico, just how in hell are we supposed to control world trade, (imports, exports)? No, the rest of the world will tell us what they want (from us), and we will probably oblige. "when the middle east runs dry" It will not run dry for the entire world (there is huge quantities of oil there) but it may run dry for the USA. fritz

"Furthermore, I can foresee the petroleum companies investing more in this technology as time passes. " Well, they damned sure should because didn't the GOP give them huge tax breaks in the last two years? Or have I been out of the country all that time? Better to give the farmers tax breaks when the country needs more grain and feedstock for the process of refining the new fuels. Bring back that old word (so rarely heard today) called parity. I can see new farm programs offered (at taxpayer expense) in order to get farmers to raise more grain. It will be a 180 degree turn from the programs of the past, where the government paid farmers to NOT plant. What goes 'round, comes 'round. fritz

A mother asked President Bush, "Why did my son have to die in Iraq?" Another mother asked President Kennedy, "Why did my son have to die in Vietnam?" Another mother asked President Truman, "Why did my son have to die in Korea? Another mother asked President F. D. Roosevelt, "Why did my son have to die at Iwo Jima?" Another mother asked President W. Wilson, "Why did my son have to die on the battlefield of France?" Yet another mother asked President Lincoln, "Why did my son have to die at Gettysburg?" And yet another mother asked President G. Washington, "Why did my son have to die near Valley Forge?" Then long, long ago, a mother asked... "Heavenly Father, why did my Son have to die on a cross outside of Jerusalem?" The answers to all these are similar -- "So that others may have life and dwell in peace, happiness and freedom." IF YOU DON'T STAND BEHIND OUR TROOPS, PLEASE, FEEL FREE... STAND IN FRONT OF THEM !!! This was emailed to me with no author May you all remember them today. fritz

mrs fritz works for the State of Texas, and they are watering down their retirement plans every year. No, we are all going to end up in the same boat. We may as well set sail for Nicaragua! fritz

OK, it's not one of my best ones, but things are slow right now-- Island Throne There was once an island kingdom whose people were all fabulously wealthy. Even though they could have afforded to live anywhere they wanted, tradition dictated they stay on their tiny island home. Eventually, their king became frustrated and called a meeting of the tribe's elders. He said he wanted them to figure out a way he could enjoy his wealth, and stay within traditional guidelines. After much consideration, the elders suggested he build a magnificent throne. When he objected there was not enough room in his hut for a throne, the elders suggested he call in an engineer to solve the problem. Soon, the king's tiny hut was rigged with an elaborate system of ropes and pulleys. He could lower the huge throne for use during the day, and at night, he could haul the throne up, and lower his bed. This was truly the best of both worlds for the king. Unfortunately, after a few months of constant use the roopes frayed, and one night, the throne slipped and came crashing down on the king, killing him. The wise men of the island recognized a lesson in this experience and added to the lore of their people this statement: "People who live in grass houses should not stow thrones." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- fritz

Tony, As you know, we share the same senators (albeit not the congressman). I gathered this from your link-- Letters To Leaders All messages are published with permission of the sender. The general topic of this message is Immigration: Subject: Immigration To: Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison May 25, 2006 Please do not support a bill which provides for "amnesty" for illegal immigrants. On this issue, the House of Representatives is much more in touch with the will of the American people than the Senate is. Border security must come first, and amnesty is NOT acceptable. If you and Senator Cornyn are not willing to stand up for Texas, I will do whatever I can to work for your defeat in the next election. Also, any congressman who believes that they are above the law and who believes that their congressional office is off limits from a legally authorized search, does not deserve my vote. The search of Rep. Jefferson's office was NOT illegal, did NOT violate the constitution, and finally showed the American people that our congressmen and congresswomen and not above the law. Pflugerville , TX Our senators (Cornyn and Hutchison) agree 100 percent on immigration, at least I think they do. But I have been wrong before. fritz

Well, since the fireants have taken over the ticks in Texas, we are safe? Hell, it's been so long without rain down here that the fireants have hibernated. Does this mean that the ticks will return? I am left in a quandry--do I go out and buy tick repellant, or just wait for the fireants to return? Like a bad penny (and Arnold) they will be back! fritz

I just got this email from my son in Austin-- I havent' seen Kay Bailey's stand yet but I believe Cornyn is one of the strongest anti-immigration senators in there. I've seen some interesting stats though. 10% of Mexico's population currently lives in the US. 1 in 7 Mexicans has immigrated to the US at some point. This makes it the largest migration in the history of the world. It's that serious. fritz

Tony, What you just said is going to happen. When we cannot vote for the pols that put us in this situation, we must vote for another pol. It's the American way. You know the old saying, "You make your bed, and you sleep in it". I believe we have seen the bed that these pols have made, now let them sleep in it. And it may not be a restful sleep. It may be filled with nightmares that (hopefully) they will realize they brought about upon themselves. But they have also brought upon the rest of us these same nightmares! And they will get a pension, at taxpayer expense. fritz

This is from a letter that a good friend of mine sent to his congressman, senator, and the President. It is no joke, this fellow is a retired engineer with Brown and Root. And he lived there--- We have no obligations to illegal aliens! I repeat, we have no obligations to illegal aliens! I worked for three years in Mexico, a land of extreme corruption. You do not understand that your immigration policy will destroy this country. Please read the Heritage Foundation Report. Wake up! Wake up. "Within 20 years 103 million new immigrants will enter this country". Please do not spend my money on registration and ID cards, English classes, welfare benifits for illegal aliens. Do not sell your soul for a stack of tortillas! Remember the Alamo! Remember Goliad! fritz