Gentlemen, this is better humor.

[Emul8]

Q: Why don't women blink during foreplay?

A: They don't have time.

 

Q: Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?

A: They won't stop for directions.

 

Q: Why did God make men before women?

A: You need a rough draft before you have a final copy.

 

Q: How many men does it take to put the toilet seat down?

A: Nobody knows, it hasn't happened yet.

 

Q: What is the thinnest book in the world?

A: What men know about women.

 

Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One. Men will screw anything.

 

Q: What's a man's idea of foreplay?

A: A half hour of begging.

 

Q: How can you tell if a man is sexually aroused?

A: He's breathing.

 

Q: What's the difference between men and government bonds?

A: Government bonds mature.

 

Q: How do you save a man from drowning?

A: Take your foot off of his head.

 

Q: How can you tell if a man is happy?

A: Who cares?

 

Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?

A: We don't know. It's never happened.

 

Q: How are men and parking spots alike?

A: The good ones are always taken and the only ones left are handicapped.

 

Q: What is a man's idea of helping out with housework?

A: Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.

 

 

And if that wasn't enough....

 

The Smarter Sex

 

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them is hurt.

 

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."

 

The man replied, "I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!"

 

The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."

 

Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, drinks half the bottle, and extends it back to the woman.

 

Politely, the woman refuses to accept the bottle.

 

The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

 

The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police..."