Sailormilan2 Posted March 16, 2006 Report Share Posted March 16, 2006 Subject: Rules of Manhood 1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella. 2: It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances: a. When a heroic dog dies to save its master. b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse. c. After wrecking your boss' car. d. When she is using her teeth. 3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies. 4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours. 5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her. 6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However, complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable. 7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. 8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest. 9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing. 10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend. 11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach ... and it's delivered by a topless supermodel .. and it's free. 12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts. 13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked. 14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever! Issue closed. 15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem. You didn't see anything. 16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spiesuntil they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers. 17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight. 18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy. 19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer. 20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response. 21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights: a. Yeah, Baby, Push it! b. C'mon, give me one more! Harder! c. Another set and we can hit the showers! 22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need. 23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hangup if necessary. 24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs. 25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours. 26: Unless it is a Jeep, or a vintage Mopar, Thou shall not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue. 27: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics..... Ever. 28. You must always drive around lost for a minimum of 30 minutes before you are allowed to stop and ask for directions. 29. Having a passenger roll down the window to ask any stranger for directions, before the 30 minutes are up, is strictly prohibited. > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dave h Posted March 22, 2006 Report Share Posted March 22, 2006 Rule #10 worries me a little ..........Down here the sheets over the head is called a "Dutch Oven" ! It's treated as a Right of Passage into Manhood ! Normally conducted on the wedding night LOL!! Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karlunity Posted March 23, 2006 Report Share Posted March 23, 2006 A fella will always let a friend "sleep it off" in his pad and if asked, by the wife or girl friend, say "I know nothing" Now ladies note I said "SLeep it off" . We gentleman have a natural right to go out drink and howl at the moon together, it does not mean we cheat on our ladies. KArl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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