The Purina Diet

[fritz]

I was in Walmart buying a large bag of Purina for my dog and was

 

in line to check out. A woman behind me asked me if I had a

 

dog...DUHHHH

 

 

 

I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her NO and that

 

I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably

 

shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital the last time. BUT, I'd lost 50

 

pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming

 

out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.

 

 

 

Her eyes about bugged out of her head. I went on and on with the

 

bogus diet story and she was totally buying it. I told her that

 

it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load

 

your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every

 

time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I

 

was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone

 

in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall

 

guy behind her.)

 

 

 

Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned

 

me and was that why I ended up in the hospital.

 

 

 

I said, Oh NO!, I'd been sitting in the street licking my ass

 

when a car hit me.

 

 

 

I thought the tall guy in back of the line was going to have to

 

be carried out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

fritz

[AzRednek]

Before you got ran over, did you have to remove any prickly pear thorns from your hands??

[cold shot]

dog food diet? huh, I wonder how the cat food diet would do. probly be just as good but watch out for hair balls!!!!!!