Texans

[swamprat]

Texans in Hell

 

(For non Texans, Red Adair was a famous oil well fire fighter

and Brown and Root is a general contractor with roots in Houston.)

 

Gabriel went to the Lord and said, "I have to talk to you. We have

 

some Texans up here who are causing problems...

 

They're swinging on the Pearly Gates, my horn is missing, and

 

they are wearing T-shirts instead of their robes; there's barbecue

 

sauce and picante sauce all over everything, especially their

 

T-shirts; their dogs are riding in the chariots and chasing the

 

sheep; they are wearing baseball caps and cowboy hats instead of

 

their halos. They refuse to keep the stairway to Heaven clean, and

 

their boots are marking and scuffing up the halls of Wisdom. There

 

are watermelon seeds and tortilla chip crumbs all over the place.

 

Some of them are walking around with just one wing; and they insist

 

on bringing their horses with them."

 

The Lord said, "Texans are Texans, Gabriel. Heaven is home to all

 

of my children. If you want to know about real problems, call the Devil."

 

So Gabriel calls the Devil who answers the phone and

 

says, "Hello---hold on a minute." When he returns to the phone the

 

Devil says, "O.K., I'm back. What can I do for you? "

 

Gabriel replied, "I just want to know what kinds of problems you are

 

having down there with the Texans."

 

The Devil said, "Hold on again. I need to check on something."

 

After about 5 minutes the Devil returned to the phone and said.

 

"I'm back. Now what was the question?"

 

Gabriel said, "What kind of problems are you having down there with

 

the Texans?"

 

The Devil said, "Man, I don't believe this...hold on."

 

This time the Devil was gone 15 minutes and when he returns he says,

 

"I'm sorry Gabriel, I can't talk right now. Red Adair has put out

 

the fire and Brown and Root is installing air conditioning."