Good Ones

[FC]

A nurse walks into a bank totally exhausted after a

20 hour shift.

Preparing to write a check, she pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse

and tries to write with it. She looks at the flabbergasted teller and without missing a beat says,

"Well, that's great..... that's really great. Some @%*hole's got my pen."

 

"It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes."

He addressed the man,

"Can you name your wife's favorite flower?"

Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Gold Medal All-Purpose, isn't it?

 

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.

An earlier discussion had led to an argument and

neither of them wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,

The husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"

"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

 

A man and his wife were having an argument about who

should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, "You should do it because you get up first,

and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.

The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and

you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."

Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."

Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says . "HEBREWS"

[fritz]

Thanks Tony,

 

I have to show mrs fritz the one about the nurse. She comes home pretty tired sometimes, and maybe I should ask her where the thermometer is.

 

On second thought, maybe not!

 

fritz

[Horsefly]

I'm a Hebrew!

[FC]

Figured you'd like that one Fritz.

I'm a Hebrew too, but it should be a shebrew!