Sailormilan2 Posted October 22, 2008 Report Share Posted October 22, 2008 My girlfriend recently broke up with me. Probably should have expected it, but I thought we had worked out the problems. I am curious as to why one would want to continue comunications, answering emials, IMs after one gets a Dear John letter? Once I received the DJ letter, I did the usual, normal "I am hurt" routine. But I knew I needed some time, to work thourgh this and heal. I would sign on in the Invisible mode in Yahoo IM so that no one knew I was there. Since we both lurk in a Christian Dating Chatroom, when ever she was there, I would leave or not go in at all. 3 days after the DJ, she sent a IM to me in the blind telling me to "quit hiding". Then she sent me an email through the dating site's mail system. Then she got into my Facebook page, where she had never gone for the whole time we were dating. She then confronted me in the Christian Chat room, and one of her "issues" was that since I never answered her emails since the DJ letter, that showed I didn't care. She even dropped out of the chat room for a few days partly because "I was avoiding her". Can any one here hazard a guess as to what is going on? I am clueless. She has already replaced me, and in fact had replaced me prior to the Dear John letter, and had bragged about it on her My Space account. Personally, I see no reason to continue communication after a break up, especially that quickly, but what do I know, I am a male? Any comments? Guesses? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr.Hess Posted October 22, 2008 Report Share Posted October 22, 2008 Yeah, I'll tell you what's happening: You got very, very lucky. You need a biatch like that like you need another hole in your head. Thank your lucky stars that you are no longer in that relationship and that it ended this early and cheaply. She is demanding attention. She thinks that it is all about her and she should just be able to dump you and "still be friends." AMF. The real loser in this picture is the guy she is currently dating. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roscoedoh Posted October 22, 2008 Report Share Posted October 22, 2008 Sometimes things don't work out and some people aren't meant to be together. Just cut your losses and walk away. I'm sure you guys had some laughs together, but this apparently wasn't meant to be. If I were in your position, I'd move on. There's not point in hanging on to a relationship that's over. You'll find someone next time. Don't let your ex get to you like this. And besides, its not a crime to be single for a while. You're more likely to find someone when you're having fun and enjoying life than you are when you're down. Shoot guns, date around, have fun. Life's too short to worry with things like this. It'll be alright... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spiris Posted October 22, 2008 Report Share Posted October 22, 2008 Walk away and don't look back! She wants attention and expects you to whine about the break up. If you had issues before, consider yourself lucky and do not contact her. She just wants to play games with your head. Spiris Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plumbum Posted October 22, 2008 Report Share Posted October 22, 2008 consider yourself lucky to have found out she is nuts at this point. forgive and forget her. we all have our problems and maybe she is working through some of her own. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BradD Posted October 22, 2008 Report Share Posted October 22, 2008 Dale, this just shows that God works in wonderul ways. He's taking good care of you. Be sure and say a prayer of thanks to Him for having your back. Your ex-ladyfriend has a weird way of practicing her Christianity. Now get out there and start looking for a better deal. Brad Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sailormilan2 Posted October 22, 2008 Author Report Share Posted October 22, 2008 Thanks, Brad. I am in fact working through this. I accepted it when I first got the Dear John letter last month. Where my confusion stems is from her still wanting continued contact. To say that I ignored emails, which occured after the Dear John, is to her,showing I didn't care. I don't understand the point of continued talk. It almost seems a way of stalking. I guess it is just her way of justifying what she did. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinkerfive Posted October 22, 2008 Report Share Posted October 22, 2008 I concur, by all means ignore her and do not answer. Don't let her draw you in, it will only agonizingly prolong the inevitable end . I also second what Jason said. Live your life to it's fullest and do what makes you happy. Tinker Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karlunity Posted October 23, 2008 Report Share Posted October 23, 2008 Sir. Women don't play those games. Self centered stuck on themselves females do. You are WELL-RID of her. DO not go back..do not be friends. do not fix her car..do not answer her e-mails or phone calls. She told you to to go so GO. Once you met a new girl remember this: Never hurt a good girl to please a bad one. Karl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BradD Posted October 23, 2008 Report Share Posted October 23, 2008 One more thought or two, Dale. She wants you to pay attention to her because she is like a coyote over a fresh kill. She wants to take the parts she likes best (your attention) and leave the rest for the buzzards (doing anything for you). What do you care about what she thinks of you for answering/not answering her email, or any other service you might have provided. Short answer: You don't. She excluded herself by excluding you. She doesn't matter anymore. Take a big deep breath of fresh air and think about what a disaster you avoided. If the air is too yucky there in the valley, come up here and get a fresh breath with me. We can show and tell our toys. Brad Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plumbum Posted October 23, 2008 Report Share Posted October 23, 2008 Where my confusion stems is from her still wanting continued contact. To say that I ignored emails, which occured after the Dear John, is to her,showing I didn't care. I don't understand the point of continued talk. It almost seems a way of stalking. I guess it is just her way of justifying what she did. it may be that she feels bad and wants to soothe her conscience, it may be that she wants to pin it on you, it may be that she wants to look better in front of her friends, whatever. just forgive and forget. the people worth having in your life will either not care about what she is doing, or figure it out. all you need to know is that she has her own problems and fortunately, they are still all hers. you escaped *just* in time. 6 months from now you will look back and it will all be much clearer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ken98k Posted October 23, 2008 Report Share Posted October 23, 2008 She doesn't matter anymore. Forget about her(hard as that may seem now) Then go buy another Mauser! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sailormilan2 Posted October 23, 2008 Author Report Share Posted October 23, 2008 Well, I do have a barreled action and a receiver being shipped off bluing next week. Is that the proper cure for this? A new Mauser? Never quite thought like that before. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2-many guns Posted October 23, 2008 Report Share Posted October 23, 2008 [quo Sailerman, I'M a firm believer in what goes around comes around.Her day will come, when the cloud she cast on you brings her down.With that being said, I would think you have nothing but better and brighter days ahead of you.I'm sure you've heard the saying misery loves company thats the game she is playing.Go forward don't look back.You will find the right person don't look to hard because God places them right in front of you. God bless Keith te name=Sailormilan2' date='Oct 23 2008, 04:36 PM' post='39584] Well, I do have a barreled action and a receiver being shipped off bluing next week. Is that the proper cure for this? A new Mauser? Never quite thought like that before. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AzRednek Posted October 24, 2008 Report Share Posted October 24, 2008 Sailorman, dump the bimbo!! She obviously hasn't matured beyond the level of a teenager and is hanging on just in case whoever she dumped you for doesn't work out. She probably played the same game with somebody prior to connecting with you. I've raised four girls, they all played the same game when they were teens. te name='Sailormilan2' date='Oct 23 2008, 04:36 PM' post='39584'] Well, I do have a barreled action and a receiver being shipped off bluing next week. Is that the proper cure for this? A new Mauser? Never quite thought like that before. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sailormilan2 Posted October 24, 2008 Author Report Share Posted October 24, 2008 I forgot to mention, there have been two seperate hack attempts into my account at the dating site, by someone using my password. The first attempt was 2 weeks after the Dear John letter, and was unsucessfulll only because who ever attempted it typo'd two letters. Typing "pi" rather than "ou". Once I received notice of the failed attempt I changed the password. There was a second attempt this weekend after she got into my face in the chatroom. It was unsucessfull because I had changed the password. Yes, she had the password, but no more. I still cannot comprehend why she would want to do access my account, but who knows. Unfortunately, while the attempt can be traced, it means I cannot access the site until the trace is done. My computor accidently logged on, so wiped out the trail. So, I now have to wait till there was a 3rd attempt. I am also staying away from the dating site/chat room. I do want to thank all of you. Believe it or not, all of this has helped me. I have felt better the past two days than I have in 2 weeks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roscoedoh Posted October 24, 2008 Report Share Posted October 24, 2008 I do want to thank all of you. Believe it or not, all of this has helped me. I have felt better the past two days than I have in 2 weeks. That's what we're here for amigo. Just keep your head up and keep truckin' along. Someone better will be along before you know it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Limpid Lizard Posted October 26, 2008 Report Share Posted October 26, 2008 Trying to get someone to remain friends is one of the rules in the cheaters play book. It is textbook cheater speak designed to make them feel better. I had to read no further to know that you had been replaced prior to getting the letter. The true facts are that none of this is about you. It is all about how broken she is. LL edited for typo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sailormilan2 Posted November 13, 2008 Author Report Share Posted November 13, 2008 My 22 year old daughter came by the house the other day, and read all the stuff the ex GF had been sending me. Her first reaction was an "OMG who sends a Dear John letter addressed with your pet name?". After reading it, she declared that it wasn't not a true Dear John letter, rather an attempt to get me to beg her to come back to her. Which fits with something she had said later, that by not answering her, I showed I did not care. In my daughter's opinion, she tried something and it backfired on her. I don't beg. It would not be much of a relationship if I had to beg to stay in it. And, it would only have gotten worse if I had begged and stayed in the relationship. I now go into the chat room, and totaly completely ignore her, she does not exist, even if she directs a comment to me, which she has done. I do not answer. From things she has said to other people, she is furious. My daughter also said that if she was "dating" a guy within 2 - 4 weeks of the breakup, she either already had the guy lined up, or there was no guy and she was trying to make me jealous. If there really was a guy, he may not know he is in a relationship. To him, she may be just someone he has dated 3 - 4 times. Especially since she is in the Christian chat room almost everynight of the week. If one has a boy friend one is happy with, why come into the chat room every night? It took me a bit to work through things, but I am well on my way back to my "normal"(if there is such a thing) state of mind. Unfortunately, my therapy work will not be back for a while. I sent a Steyr 1912 action, barreled in 300 Win Mag off to Mark Waldo for bluing, but his turn around time right now is 4 - 6 weeks. Well, that puts it after Christmas. Then I will ride down to Richards MicroFit and hand pick a stock. I am trying to decide what to get, Maple, Bastogne Walnut or English Walnut. I have 7 other actions sitting out in the shop, waiting patiently for barrels. I just have to decide what to put on them. I have gone back on my diet, and lost 15 lbs. I am back on my exercise program, I am again walking 5 miles a day, 6 days a week, and am at the gym 3 times a week. My thanks to all who responded here, all of your comments helped me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karlunity Posted November 13, 2008 Report Share Posted November 13, 2008 Working with Herr Dockor Mauser has cured more then one of my problems. Glad to see things are going well. karl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BradD Posted November 14, 2008 Report Share Posted November 14, 2008 Dale, good. Stay away from maple and narcissists. They are both flakey. Brad Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sailormilan2 Posted November 23, 2008 Author Report Share Posted November 23, 2008 I got a call from Mark Waldo who is doing my bluing on my Therapy 300 Win Mag. He had previously told me his turn around time was 4 - 6 weeks. But he had only had it for 2 weeks and was getting ready to dip it into the bluing. Woohooo. Now, I will have to drive over the hill down to Richards Micro Fit and hand pick out a stock. Maybe I can do that the day after Thanksgiving. Now, to figure out what to do with the other 7 actions I have. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sailormilan2 Posted January 9, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 9, 2009 I just had a 4 hr lunch date with a very nice lady, within 1 hrs drive of my house, yesterday. We had lunch, and then sat and just talked. The first indication that things were going good, was after lunch. We had been sitting across from each other, until after her first potty break. When she came back, she slide around in the booth until she was much closer to me. At the end, she told me she wanted to do it again, and gave me a hug. Things are looking up. We talked about our ex's a bit, since it is good to know where the other person is coming from. My ex decided she wanted her best friends husband. Her's decided he liked men better than women. Strange, but I am hearing more and more stories like hers. According to her, 3 - 5 million women are married to gay men. My ex girl friend has now joined 3 christian dating sites. Guess she is desperate after her sugar daddy fell through. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr.Hess Posted January 9, 2009 Report Share Posted January 9, 2009 I worked with a woman. I won't mention the profession, as that would be TMI, but she had just gotten divorced. She was quite aggressive for a woman, and in a man's field. Her ex was a funny boy. Apparently he "wanted to try being straight" and so got married without telling his wife that he was really a funny boy. She had no idea. She just thought it was great that her husband was into curtains and things instead of Mausers or whatever. Then he went back to being a funny boy. It was really sad for her. She was a nice person under the "shield" she had surrounded herself with to survive in a very difficult job where 99% of the people were men, and a-holes at that, and the stress level was off the charts. I guess she was lucky not to have got HIV from the whole ordeal. Anyway, sounds like you have a handle on things. You daughter is right regarding your most recent ex's new "friend." That's how they work. Keep us posted on the 300 Win Mag. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Limpid Lizard Posted January 10, 2009 Report Share Posted January 10, 2009 I'm glad things are looking up for you. Take your time, you need not be in a hurry. Enjoy, relax and be darn grateful to have escaped with as little damage as you did. LL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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