FC Posted February 16, 2009 Report Share Posted February 16, 2009 Being a Grandparent... > > 1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under > the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd > done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and > started to leave, the little one said, 'But Gramma, you > forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!' I w ill > probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about > kissing the toilet paper good-bye... > > 2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me > Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, > '62.' He was quiet for a moment, and then he > asked, 'Did you start at 1?' > > 3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother > changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and started to > wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and > more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she > threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, > putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left > the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling > voice, 'Who was THAT?' > > 4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter > what20her own childhood was like: 'We used to skate > outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung > from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked > wild raspberries in the woods.' The little girl was > wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, 'I > sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!' > > 5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, > 'Grandma, do you know how you and God are > alike?' I mentally polished my halo and I said, > 'No, how are we alike?' ' You're both > old,' he replied. > > 6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her > grandfather's word processor. She told him she was > writing a story. 'What's it about?' he asked. > 'I don't know,' she replied. 'I can't > read. > 7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her > colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out > something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and > was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At > last she headed for the door, saying, 'Grandma, I think > you should try to figure out some of these yourself!' > > 8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation > cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep > from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies > followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy > whispered, 'It's no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes > are coming after us with flashlights.' > > 9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly > replied, 'I'm not sure.' 'Look in your > underwear, Grandpa,' he advised. 'Mine says I'm > four to six.' > > 10. A second grader came home from school and said to her > grandmother, 'Grandma, guess what? We learned how to > make babies today. 'The grandmother, more than a little > surprised, tried to keep 'her cool. That's > interesting,' she said, 'how do you make babies? > ''It's simple,' replied the girl. 'You > just change 'y' to 'i' and add > 'es'.' > > 11. Children's Logic: 'Give me a sentence about a > public servant,' said a teacher. The small boy > wrote: 'The fireman came down the ladder > pregnant.' The teacher took the lad aside to correct > him. 'Don't you know what pregnant means?' she > asked. 'Sure,' said the young boy > confidently. 'It means carrying a child.' > > 12. A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon > full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. > Sitting in the front seat of the truck was a Dalmatian > dog. The children started discussing the dog's > duties.' 'They use him to keep crowds back, ' > said one child. 'No,' said another. > 'He's just for good luck.' A third child > brought the argument to a close. 'They use the > dogs,' she said firmly, 'to find the fire hydrants. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swamprat Posted February 16, 2009 Report Share Posted February 16, 2009 When we got our latest puppy the daughter, son-in-law, and grandsons came over to see him. The son-in-law said that its type didn't shed. My 7yr old grandson say's, "Yes he does! I seen him do it in the back yard." Swamprat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
odies dad Posted February 18, 2009 Report Share Posted February 18, 2009 One of the boys pulled his finger out of his nose and proclaimed, "No buggers, just a hole for my finger." One of the boys was riding to work with me one morning. All was quiet until he said "My nose is empty. It's all out of buggers." I about had to pull over. One of the boys heard a noise. He came out of his bedroom and said "I heard something and it scared the chickens out of me." Our youngest son was just learning how to talk. He does day care at Grandma's house. He was watching Grandma get ready in the bathroom one morning. She was putting on some kind of makeup. He asked "Hurts?" Grandma said "No, that's to make Grandma beautiful." He shook his head and said "Uh uh." Grandpa got a good chuckle out of that one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FC Posted February 18, 2009 Author Report Share Posted February 18, 2009 Wife's nephew (was about 5) was asked to get something for his grandma out of the kitchen. He said, "Who do you think I am, Alfred? (Batman)" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.