Why Evolution And Natural Selection Don’t Make Sense..

[swamprat]

 

 

In 1823, an Aussie dude by the name of Charles Darwin decided (while he was in the bathroom smoking crack) that there must be a reason why he looked a bit like monkeys.

 

 

 

In 1825, Charles Darwin embarked on what is later viewed to be the single greatest voyage of mankind, far surpassing those of Columbus or Magellan. Traveling with his lone companion, a pet beagle, he went across the street to the park. While at the park, Darwin noticed a chimp. Intrigued by the creature, he tentatively put out his hand to shake the chimp's own. But to Darwin's astonishment, the chimp reacted angrily, flailing his arms and throwing feces at both he and the Beagle. Recognizing the stunning similarities in behavior between the chimp and himself, Darwin concluded that humans must have evolved from apes.

 

 

 

Then a few years later, a skull was found of a dude that looked, in technical terms, "really, really weird." The guy (obviously a black dude) had such a weird skull that made the stupid scientists think he was the missing link between man and ape, according to Darwin's Theory of Evolution. Of course, none of this has been proven yet. Therefore, Mr. Homo Erectus himself (God bless his soul) was probably not stupid at all (at least we don't know that), but the men who found him and gave him that ultra-stupid name were definitely not-so-smart.

 

In this way, Darwin formulated the most controversial theory of all time, called the ‘The Theory Of Evolution and Natural Selection”.

 

According to this theory, give mother nature any lump of living cells, and an unlimited span of time, and she will develop those cells into an Einstein or a Newton!!

 

The concept of Natural Selection as a creative force assumes that if your mom breeds five kids, nature will kill the stupid ones, and only the smart, strong, and cute ones will survive. Which, ofcourse, never ever happens!!

 

Politicians, however, belie this fallacy every day. Everybody knows that only stupid and/or poor people breed. Smart people are too busy building wealth which they eventually hope will come in handy in putting the smack down on the hordes of breeders when the revolution comes.

 

In fact, I’d like to go one step further and say that man is going to get dumber. How??

 

Well, the smart ones have high-pressure jobs, can’t maintain their marriages and don’t have children. The dumb ones have lots of children. Effectively, the average stupidity on the planet increases. This will continue to happen until the chimpanzees become more intelligent (thanks to animal rights groups, who will ensure that the monkeys survive) and recruit us to do their slave work. We’ll all end up as second-rate slaves doing what someone else tells us to do all day (and sometimes even on weekends).

 

Now that you know the facts, the ‘Planet of the Apes’ movie won’t suck anymore!! Because that is how the future will look like..

 

 

 

But, surely, the theory of evolution holds true in some aspects of life… Yeah, it does to some extent!!

 

Remember those days as a child when the excuse "dog ate my homework" would get you in trouble. The teacher would get mad, embarrass you in front of the class by calling you lazy, a liar and a moron. Your parents would then "blow a fuse" subjecting you to some good-ole ass whooping and being grounded like "forever".

 

But nowadays, since things have evolved, the teacher would get fired, the school would get sued, parents would get arrested for a physical and mental abuse, and the dog would be sent to a dog psychologist and some educational therapy pending a possible sterilization for hyperactivity.

 

 

 

Another example of evolution is illustrated above. The Facebook and MySpace generation appears to be embarking on a disastrous evolutionary path which is turning many otherwise ordinary, normal people into hideous, antisocial faggots who live in a certain habitat known as the Internet. These horrifying creatures are considerably less developed than their human predecessors, and they are believed to be the first step towards the extinction of mankind.

 

[724wd]

anyone seen the movie "idiocracy?" a "comedy" that is so right it hurts... literally.