Homeless Woman Stayed With Us

[FC]

Well, I've probably had more experience with homeless people living where I live than most people. When I was in Bible college, just after high school, the guys invited two homeless dudes to live with us. That was a disaster. One was a total freak. He called us idolaters (he pronounced it idol-aters). Despite that, he asked for a ride to and from his job, a 50 mile trip, one way, from the guys every day he worked at a nursery. The other one was a burned out hippie who just couldn't get it together to face life. He used our kitchen dish sponge to dab his infected thigh wound. One of my five brothers has been a cave man in Colorado for several years. He thinks he's a wizard, and sells magic wands. One other brother has been to prison about 3 or 4 times, and threatens to kill people when he gets mad (threatened to kill one of my other brothers not long ago).

 

Anyway, Brandy, a 28 y/o homeless girl, supposedly divorced from an abusive Army husband (she's not divorced, really, but he's gone, with a restraining order), put an ad on Craigs List that she'd like clothing donations, or would work for the clothes. My wife gave her some clothes, which Brandy never wore, BTW. We figured Brandy was different, because she said she wanted to work. We told her that we will give a hand-up, but we don't like giving more than one hand-out. She said she totally agreed. Brandy was living, against the rules, long term with an A.F. family on Hickam AFB- two months, in fact. Brandy worked a few days a week, and did some babysitting for the family on Saturdays, and bookkeeping on Sundays. We hired her to wash the floors a couple of times. She said she didn't know how to clean very well. Her car is a garbage scowl. She did okay with the floors. She said she had to keep her income under $1000/month, in order to get the government handouts for depression. She made the mistake of telling my wife that getting permanent disability was probably the best route.

 

We found out a couple weeks ago that the family she was staying with moved, and Brandy, wanting a safe place to sleep, slept on Hickam AFB's beach. The cops found her, and off she went from Hickam. I didn't like the idea of her sleeping in her car, so we invited her over for one week, which became two weeks. She said she was going to save up for a $400/month homeless shelter's rent. She'd get her own room. Fine and dandy- she had a plan.

 

We noticed something odd- Brandy would go into her room and come out like 14 or 15 hours later, every day! She agreed with helping Barbara, but it didn't materialize. She just slept, and used her laptop. Enough was enough. I told her she was treating our home like a flop house. I told her that she was trying to live off of the people who go to work every day. She denied it, but I told her that she said it herself. I said that she would never be a success just barely making it. She was not to be in her room over 9 hours per day, since that's just plain wierd. Barbara and I both have had our share of depression, and I have asthma, and don't hear worth a flip, but we made it. We told her it was time to leave. She was crying, and I said, "Barbara, it's up to you whether to let her stay." Brandy said she'd help out. I did the brakes on her car, which, due to massive problems, took almost all day. In exchange she was to repaint our eight windsor chairs. A week later, with prompting, she started. Well, that went slow, and she thought it was a lot of work. She'd do some chairs, then quit. We'd nag her, she would do some more chairs, then quit. Finally they're all done.

 

The thing about this girl is that she has not long-term plans, sleeps too much, and wants something for nothing, if at all possible. She finally moved out. The feeling of relief was probably mutual. I asked Barbara if she thanked her. Barbara said, "Kind of", but, "Not much more than a 'thank you'", and out the door she went. You figure that once in a while the someone you bail out will have a changed life, but that's not the case, evidently. There is a frame of mind that sets up homeless people for failure.

[karlunity]

Any one who spends that much time "in her room" is sleeping it off.

Either booze or drugs.

 

karl

[Dr.Hess]

Yeah, Karl, that's exactly what I was thinking. I would put the probability at 90+%.

 

With "the homeless," there's usually a reason they're "homeless." That reason is because they would rather do drugs or alcohol with their money than have an apartment, they just don't like "the work thing," schizophrenia, and there are just people that are bums and would rather live off of someone else's work. We call them Democrats, usually because that's who they vote for.

 

The number of people that are "homeless" and can actually be helped up/out are a very small percentage. The government takes money from all of us and gives it to these people. The government is not helping them at all. Tony, you may have helped this one, but more than likely not. For the non-schizophrenics, you can show them the door out of their mess but you can't force them to walk through it. Her not wanting to do so much as paint the chairs, given everything you were doing for her is a pretty good indication of what you were working with. Without any drive to improve her life, she will never be any better than she is. God help the next man she entraps.

 

The schizophrenics are different (to say the least). They need a fully structured, controlled living arrangement. They can never be left to their own desires/control their own lives, as their perception of what the rest of us call reality is severely flawed. We used to have institutions for them, but that was somehow deemed "mean," so instead we dump them on the streets.

 

Anyway, trying to help Brandy was a very noble thing to do, but, I don't think that trying to help her actually did any good. I think that it may actually do more harm. She may someday decide that she doesn't want to live like that anymore and then try to get a job and do something, but as long as there are people and the government to give her stuff for nothing, she will take it.

[FC]

You're right.

I don't think she drinks. Drugs? Gee, I don't know, but it's hard to say. I found out we were the third family she lived with.

OK, she makes $1000 per month. Gas, food, and her storage place would come out to maybe $400/month, but she said she had no money. Figure that one out.

[Vladymere]

She sounds like my daughter.

 

Vlad

[FC]

This person acts like a teenager, but is 28.

 

Vlad, I've never seen you in this area. How are things going?

[roscoedoh]

Tony,

 

You're too nice; stop taking in boarders. The first sign something was amiss should've been when the homeless girl sat in her room on her laptop. Since when can homeless people afford a laptop? I'm not homeless and I don't have one! If she needed cash, she could've pawned the laptop.

 

I can appreciate wanting to do the right thing, but please, be careful. This could've ended differently and much, much worse. I don't want to tell you that you can't trust people...just be careful.

 

-Jason

[FC]

It was a risk, but when she left her keys and purse sitting out where we could have gotten at it, it didn't strike me as your usual untrusting scoundrel. Nice, seemingly vulnerable girl, but nobody is really innocent.

[ken98k]

Where did she go?

I'm looking for a 20 something homeless girl.

[FC]

Homeless girls aren't hot, sleep a lot, don't work very hard.. Still want one?

 

I thought of a good prank, if I had a pickup. Put on dress clothes and a tie, and go up to homeless carts, dump the stuff, and say I'm a manager for whatever the business it! Or, I could start a business retrieving grocery carts! How unfeeling!