The birth order of children

[ShooterTom]

My Wife got this in an E-mail

 

Subject: The birth order of children

 

 

THE BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN

 

Your Clothes:

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN

confirms your pregnancy.

2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

 

Preparing for the Birth:

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time,

breathing didn't do a thing.

3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.

 

The Layette:

1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and

fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.

2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and

discard

only the ones with the darkest stains.

3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

 

Worries:

1st baby: At the first sign of distress-a whimper, a frown-you pick up

the baby.

2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your

firstborn.

3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical

swing.

 

Pacifier:

1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until

you

can go home and wash and boil it.

2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with

some juice from the baby's bottle.

3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

 

Diapering:

1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need

it or not.

2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.

3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to

complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

 

Activities:

1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and

Baby

Story Hour.

2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

 

Going Out:

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call

home five times.

2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a

number where you can be reached.

3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she

sees blood.

 

At Home:

1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.

2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older

child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.

3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the

children.

 

Swallowing Coins (a favorite):

1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the

hospital and demand x-rays.

2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for

the coin to pass.

3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his

allowance!!

 

Pass this on to everyone you know who has children...or anyone who

KNOWS someone who has had children... (The older the mother, the

funnier this is!)

 

GRANDCHILDREN: God's reward for allowing your children to live.