Mexico Vacation

[z1r]

Dear President Bush:

 

I'm about to plan a little trip with my family and extended family, and I would like to ask you to assist me. I'm going to walk across the border from the U.S. into Mexico, and I need to make a few arrangements. I know you can help with this.

 

I plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws. I'm sure they handle those things the same way you do here.

 

So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Vicente Fox, that I'm on my way over? Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:

 

1. Free medical care for my entire family.

2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.

3. All government forms need to be printed in English.

4. I want my kids to be taught by English-speaking teachers.

5. Schools need to include classes on American culture and history.

6. I want my kids to see the American flag flying on thetop of the flag pole at their school with the Mexican flag flying lower down.

7. Please plan to feed my kids for free at school for both breakfast and lunch.

8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access to government services.

9. I do not plan to have any car insurance, and I won't make any effort to learn local traffic laws.

10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from Pres. Fox to leave me alone, please be sure that all police officers speak English.

11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.

12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying taxes, and don't enforce any labor laws or tax laws.

13. Please tell all the people in the country to be extremely nice and never say a critical word about me, or about the strain I might place on the economy.

 

I know this is an easy request because you already do all these things for all the people who come to the U.S. from Mexico. I am sure that Pres. Fox won't mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely.

 

However, if he gives you any trouble, just invite him to go quail hunting with your V.P.

 

Thank you so much for your kind help.

 

Sincerely,

 

Z1R

[swamp_thing]

Now, if you could just send one copy to the president, along with all the national media sources demanding front page coverage. Of course, we might have to visit you in some remote location afterwords, but truer words have not been spoken. swamp_thing

[BradD]

Z,

 

I hope you mail that, along with a cc to the fence staple.

 

B

[fritz]

Z1r,

 

That is the best one yet! I commend you on it.

 

As to #10 (let the police officers who don't leave me alone, speak English)---I recall a story in a sports magazine about a fellow from Texas who was hunting down there. He was stopped on the Mexico side upon returning from Mexico because he was found to have some cartridges in his suitcase.

 

This was late at night, and he was taken aside into a room to be interrogated. He produced a business card in the name of the Mexican Air Force Commander, and on the backside was written, "This man is my friend, and I wish you will offer him all the help he needs in our country. If there is any problem, call me".

 

This being very late at night, the officers decided to just let him go on his way. Why bother the big shots this time of night?

 

Moral of story---always know someone over there (the higher the office the better).

 

I guess el Presidente Fox would be about as high as you could go.

 

 

fritz

 

 

[RifleMan]

Mexico has an Air Force?

[FC]

That's a good one!