Bored At Walmart Store

[fritz]

Damned, wish I had thought of these--

 

Dear Mrs. Fenton,

>>>>

>>>> Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Bill Fenton has been

>>>> causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this

>>>> type of behavior and have considered banning the entire family from

>>>> shopping in any of our stores.

>>>>

>>>> We have documented all incidents on our video

>>>> surveillance equipment. Three of our clerks are attending

>>>> counseling

>>>> from

>>>> the trouble your husband has caused.

>>>> All complaints against Mr. Fenton have been compiled and are listed

 

>>>> below.

>>>>

>>>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>>>>

>>>> MEMO: RE: Mr. Bill Fenton - Complaints - Things Mr.

>>>> Bill Fenton has done while his spouse was shopping in our store:

>>>>

>>>> 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put

>>>> them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

>>>>

>>>> 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-

>>>> minute

>>>> intervals.

>>>>

>>>> 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to

>>>> the restrooms.

>>>>

>>>> 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official

>>>> tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.

>>>>

>>>> 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of

>>>> M&M's

>>>> on lay

>>>> away.

>>>>

>>>> 6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted

>>>> area.

>>>>

>>>> 7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told

>>>> other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from

>>>> the bedding department.

>>>>

>>>> 8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help

>>>> him, he begins to cry

>>>> and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

>>>>

>>>> 9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera;

>>>> used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.

>>>>

>>>> 10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department,

>>>> asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

>>>>

>>>> 11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming

 

>>>> the "Mission Impossible" theme.

>>>>

>>>> 12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna

>>>> look" using different size funnels.

>>>>

>>>> 13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse

>>>> through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

>>>>

>>>> 14. December 21: When an announcement came over the

>>>> loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO!

>>>> It's those voices again!!!!"

>>>>

>>>> And; last, but not least!)

>>>>

>>>> 15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the

>>>> door and waited awhile;

>>>> then, yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

>>>>

>>>>

fritz

[FC]

Another one worthy of the archives!