Inglish az new Yewropean Langwij?

[FC]

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in

plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

 

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".

 

Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

 

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

 

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

 

Governmen! ts will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

 

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

 

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

 

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

 

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

 

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

 

 

[montea6b]

Funny stuff! Do you remember the old Saturday Night Live skit where Dan Akroyd was pitching a metric alphabet? It was hilarious. I think it is on a video tape of old skits I rented once years ago.

 

Here's something else I came across this weekend. Read the following as quickly as you can:

 

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt.

 

It's called "typoglycemia".

[fritz]

I still think they should have gone with German, lieber!

 

fritz

[FC]

Yup, I remember the "Decabet" by Dan Akroyd. I wish I had that one on video.

I know some German, an okay language, but harsh sounding.

[roscoedoh]

Yo hablo pocito espanlo y lo hablo mal. No me aprenda nada aleman.

 

German is one language I plan to learn someday and is the one interesting language that is offered nowhere in my area. Neither the high school nor the University had enough interest to offer it as a course. Tis a shame really because I'd like to go to Germany someday and converse with the Germans like I do when I go to Mexico and speak spanish with the Mexicans. I guess learning German is another one of those life goals for me.

 

Jason

[FC]

The words aren't that hard, since our language is Germanic, but sentence structure is tough for me.

[Guest Brooklnese]

Youse an't got no right th talk like dat.

Karl from the block.