You gotta watch France

[Sailormilan2]

After viewing the flood-soaked city of New Orleans, Bush demanded a refund from the French government.

 

Bush Searches for Warranty on Louisiana Purchase

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Bush, upon returning from his vacation in Crawford, last night began tearing through the National Archives in search of a warranty on the Louisiana Purchase. "Keep looking," he reportedly told staffers aiding his efforts. "The thing probably expired decades ago, but maybe we qualify for an extended service plan."

 

The Louisiana Purchase was obtained from France in 1803. It comprises over a quarter of the present-day continental United States including hurricane-ravaged New Orleans.

 

"We only paid $15 million for the entire territory, and now it's going to cost billions just to fix that one broken city," Bush told reporters, adding, "That's how they get you!"

 

Although Bush was able to locate documents related to the sale, including a register receipt signed by Thomas Jefferson, any warranty documents seemed hopelessly misplaced. In defeat, he checked in with Vice President Cheney, who was on hold with the Louisiana Purchase tech support hotline.

 

"My French is a little rusty," Cheney informed the president, "but I think they're saying that our call is important to them and that we should please stay on the line. Also, the expected wait time is several hundred years."

 

The Real Story

For years we've been reading that someday a large hurricane would come up through the Gulf of Mexico and turn New Orleans into a lake. It's been a known defect. Now if we can just prove that Napoleon was aware of this when he foisted the city onto us, maybe we can get our $15 million back.

 

Disclaimer: This story probably isn't true, names have been changed, and any quotes are most likely made up. Opinions expressed do not necessarily represent those of LWN Productions.

 

[jasonthehunted]

never let the truth get in the way of a good story, I always say.